A good mother knows when to ask for support. This is before any crisis occurs. Everyone has to know when she (or he) has taken on more than she can handle. We all get signals within us, whether a feeling of dizziness, a stomachache, lack of sleep, overscheduled days, the Inner Guidance (different from the chattering internal dialog) or what-have-you.
Good moms want the best for their children. In the case of the Newtown, CT, tragedy, there were signals throughout this young man’s life that he needed more help than his mother could give.
Was it appropriate that the young man’s brother was “supposed to” be his brother’s caretaker? Only up to a point. All persons have to have the opportunity and possibility of living their lives, especially as a youngster. All siblings are meant to help one another, definitely. This is different from one sibling being responsible for another one, especially if the one needing help has a mental, physical, emotional or spiritual dysfunction. Dysfunctionality requires expert open-hearted competent help.
When individuals or a group are always silent, refusing to express their feelings, needs, opinions, desires or anything germane to who they are, this is generally a signal that something is askew. Often, this lack of response signals that energy is building up, as in a pressure cooker. Without a proper means of release, this energy can — and often may — explode.
Just as overly angry, aggressive, resentful, dominating, manipulative people have to learn how to better manage their emotions and deal with the underpinnings of what is truly going on within them, so, too, do people who hide everything inside without sharing anything anywhere with anyone.
It is tragic that this young man, likely with his mom’s best intentions, did not get the help he needed.
To have him living in a household rife with guns, plus bringing him to a shooting range, was incredibly foolish. Perhaps target shooting was his mom’s way to release her own stress. Perhaps she thought target shooting gave her some control over a tenuous challenging home situation. If these were some of her motivations, she was also acting out, rather than doing her internal work.
Both people needed help.
Neither got what they needed.
This is something for all of us to look at within ourselves, our families, our lives.
Be sure you get the support you need. Ask. Ask. Ask. Find people who are competent to help you. Be willing to give back. Create a barter. Find what you can give or share that will benefit the other person or someone else. Life is an exchange of energy.
Also, Rather than taking on everything possible, instead take on a moderate amount of “stuff” to do in your life. Do what you have to do as well and completely as you can.
The energy of the times is that of flux, transformation, evolution, where each and every one of us is called up to be responsible for our own lives, while also being supportive of one another’s growth.
Be wise in your choices.
Much love in the New Year!!!!
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