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loving discipline. enlightened moms

Balanced Discipline 2 – 8 Tips from THE MOTHER’S MANUAL

    Everyone has her/his culture, upbringing, “genetic karmic” conditioning.  Some of these ideas may be fabulous, while others are repressive, confining, stultifying.

Because Source/the Presence was with me as I/we brought forth THE MOTHER’S MANUAL, A SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHILD REARING AND MOTHERHOOD, (www.TheMothersManual.com ), I’m quoting directly from the book on Discipline.

    “Avoid hitting your child. Hitting and loving are different. The

phrase ‘this hurts me more than it hurts you’ from a parent’s mouth

when the parent is administering a spanking, beating or whooping

rings false to every child who has ever heard it. Hitting teaches that

might makes right. Smacking teaches bullying. Saying ‘because I

say so, that’s why,/ though a common-enough phrase that can slip

past many mothers’ mouths, is also an ineffective tool for teaching

and discipline. If you yourself do not know why you are saying it

or having your child do it, learn, so you can explain it to your child

in a sensible understandable manner. Children are actually smart

and often understand way more than adults give the child credit for.

 

“Reserve commands for emergencies.

 

“When you develop trust with your child, this little person, especially

when young, often desires to do what you say. Children like

to please. They like to fit into a loving situation. This adaptability

is built into them, as surely as the innate ability to crawl, walk and

evolve. Definitely, there are times when your child must do as you say

in that exact moment without the child understanding why. It may

be a matter of saving her life. You can use special language that you

set up in advance with your child so she knows when and if these

times occur. Be sure to respect this and use it sparingly and judiciously.

 

“These are the times when commands can be used wisely.

 

“If you were brought up with corporeal punishment, being hit,

and you think hitting is the only way or the most effective way to

discipline or teach respect to your child, please think again. Smacking,

hitting and/or beating are a very limited repertoire of choices,

often rendering the mother ineffective in instilling positive methods

of discipline in her child. Citing alleged Biblical ‘spare the rod and

spoil the child’ is a way to justify and rationalize violence to one’s

child.

 

“Look into alternatives.

 

“1. Learn when you are reaching your

limit of patience.

 

“2.  Have several people as alternate child caregivers

for just such times.

 

“3.  Have quiet activities your child can enjoy

and benefit from.

 

“4.  Find classes for wee ones, so you have pauses in

mothering.

 

“5.  Take classes yourself in positive methods of peaceful

discipline.

 

“6. Develop patience, ingenuity, clarity, coping skills, creativity

within yourself.

 

” 7. Meditate.

 

” 8.  Develop your own internal discipline

with love, and your child will also energetically emulate you.”

 

There is also the Reward method.  Set up a chart with chores and the like, and when the child performs them, give the child a star.  When the child refuses to do his agreed-upon responsibilities, the child can get a different mark.  Privileges can be awarded or taken away based on this chart.

 

Never ever humiliate your child, whether alone or in the midst of people.  Always respect yourself and your child as Beings of Light.  Take your child away from a group, and speak to her about inappropriate behavior.  When tihis manner of dealing with your child is extablished early on, your child will come to expect it.  This doesn’t mean she will like it, just that she will refrain from balking.  The alternative would be to have that private conversation in the midst of people, which would be contrary to his liking.

Work out signals, raising eyebrows, a “look,” a hand movement so your child knows when she is moving into the inappropriate zone.  As mom, catch stuff in the early stages, rather than waiting for a blow-up.  The brain gets into a loop, so by the time behavior gets into the hysterical screaming fit phase, often the child is unable to stop, nor, sometimes, can the adult.

Give childrfen alternate modes of behavior.  Teach them how  to recognize when they, themselves, are feeling upset, worried, angry, sad, resentful, and the like, so the child can self-correct rather than go into blow-up mode without understanding what’s going on inside them.  If you, Mom, are out of touch with your own feelings, this is the perfect time for you to learn.

We are at a nexus in human consciousness upliftment.  Despite some of the absolute insanity we see occuring in our lives, our families, politics, the world, we are more enlightened than that.  We are the arbiters of our lives, with our connection to Source/the Presence within ourselves and everywhere.  Take this opportunity to evolve yourself.  It’s the greatest game in town.

What are you ideas?  Techniques?  How do you create peaceful conflict resolution in yourself?  Your family?  The world?

 

Be blessed!!!!

 

Love,

MamaHeart

Audrye

www.TheMothersManual.com

www.ReleaseFamilyKarma.Eventbrite.com

1.888.757.3223 or 1.888.75 PEACE

Why Do Some Moms Bully and Push Their Kids Too Much?

     I just read about one of the “reality show” moms pushing her six-year-young daughter to practice her dancing until this child cried in utter exhaustion and overwhelm. 

    Why do some moms do this?

    This is poor mothering.  Is it the mom who wants to succeed in whatever she is shoving her child to excel at?  Usually, yes, absolutely. 

    Often the mom — or dad — who unceasingly and uncaringly rides her child beyond the child’s capacity, is someone who lacks love for herself.  Often, this kind of mom is feeling deficient in some area.  Yes, the mom may say she wants the best for her child, that no one supported her (the mom) so she (the mom) is being supportive of her child.  This is a smokescreen for callousness.

   It is vital that we moms encourage our children.  It is imperative that we moms recognize the talents, abilities, tendencies of our children, and empower our children to realize the fruition of their gifts.  As well, as good moms, we also help our children with their challenges. 

    To work a child — or anyone — till that child is exhausted and spent physically and emotionally is both physical and emotional abuse. 

    Whether on a reality show or in “real” life, this is obvious.

    Yes, every person has her or his own breaking point, and mom has to be astute enough to avoid confusing true encouragement with abusive bullying.

    When mom, or the “star” of a reality show, or anyone else is the bully, we have to call it what it is.  Child abuse.  Bullying.   Disparaging a small one so the adult “looks good.”  In actuality, the adult, the ostensible grown-up, actually looks pathetic, forceful, manipulative, dominating, cruel, unfeeling, and a host more.

     This differs greatly from mom or a teacher being lax, careless, lazy, overly permissive. 

     Teaching a child internal discipline so the child innately looks to excel is what’s needed.  This is better accomplished by encouragement, discussion of what can be done better, accountability, love.  Seemingly torturing a child in the name of love or encouragement is a mega lie to good parenting.

     This confusion is part of what leads to emotional chaos in a person’s life.  Also, deep within herself, a mom knows when she has pushed her child too much.  If the mom is unaware of this, this mom needs professional counseling. 

      All of us benefit from transformational, evolutionary, energy, psychological work.  To avoid getting this is both foolish and dangerous.

     Be a loving, encouraging, creative, enlightened mom, causing evolved kids.  Require the best your child can give.  Reward your child for every step she or he takes.  Give them challenges, some of which are within their grasp, some of which are a true reach.  Allow your child to know success and “failure,” meaning not quite making the mark.  We all have to know how to deal with this.  This way the child learns that she or he can “fold,” and then pick her (or him) self up and go again.

     These are vital life lessons.  Everyone benefits from learning them.  It is ongoing.

    Have a blessed New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Audrye
MamaHeart

Transformation Catalyst, Author, Clairvoyant Consultant, Spiritual Therapist, Healer, Health & Wellness Coach, Enagic Kangen (R) Water Distributor, BlogTalkShow Host, Artist, and, definitely, Mom and Grammie

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