peaceful conflict resolution
Everyone has her/his culture, upbringing, “genetic karmic” conditioning. Some of these ideas may be fabulous, while others are repressive, confining, stultifying.
Because Source/the Presence was with me as I/we brought forth THE MOTHER’S MANUAL, A SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHILD REARING AND MOTHERHOOD, (www.TheMothersManual.com ), I’m quoting directly from the book on Discipline.
“Avoid hitting your child. Hitting and loving are different. The
phrase ‘this hurts me more than it hurts you’ from a parent’s mouth
when the parent is administering a spanking, beating or whooping
rings false to every child who has ever heard it. Hitting teaches that
might makes right. Smacking teaches bullying. Saying ‘because I
say so, that’s why,/ though a common-enough phrase that can slip
past many mothers’ mouths, is also an ineffective tool for teaching
and discipline. If you yourself do not know why you are saying it
or having your child do it, learn, so you can explain it to your child
in a sensible understandable manner. Children are actually smart
and often understand way more than adults give the child credit for.
“Reserve commands for emergencies.
“When you develop trust with your child, this little person, especially
when young, often desires to do what you say. Children like
to please. They like to fit into a loving situation. This adaptability
is built into them, as surely as the innate ability to crawl, walk and
evolve. Definitely, there are times when your child must do as you say
in that exact moment without the child understanding why. It may
be a matter of saving her life. You can use special language that you
set up in advance with your child so she knows when and if these
times occur. Be sure to respect this and use it sparingly and judiciously.
“These are the times when commands can be used wisely.
“If you were brought up with corporeal punishment, being hit,
and you think hitting is the only way or the most effective way to
discipline or teach respect to your child, please think again. Smacking,
hitting and/or beating are a very limited repertoire of choices,
often rendering the mother ineffective in instilling positive methods
of discipline in her child. Citing alleged Biblical ‘spare the rod and
spoil the child’ is a way to justify and rationalize violence to one’s
“Look into alternatives.
“1. Learn when you are reaching your
limit of patience.
“2. Have several people as alternate child caregivers
for just such times.
“3. Have quiet activities your child can enjoy
and benefit from.
“4. Find classes for wee ones, so you have pauses in
“5. Take classes yourself in positive methods of peaceful
“6. Develop patience, ingenuity, clarity, coping skills, creativity
” 7. Meditate.
” 8. Develop your own internal discipline
with love, and your child will also energetically emulate you.”
There is also the Reward method. Set up a chart with chores and the like, and when the child performs them, give the child a star. When the child refuses to do his agreed-upon responsibilities, the child can get a different mark. Privileges can be awarded or taken away based on this chart.
Never ever humiliate your child, whether alone or in the midst of people. Always respect yourself and your child as Beings of Light. Take your child away from a group, and speak to her about inappropriate behavior. When tihis manner of dealing with your child is extablished early on, your child will come to expect it. This doesn’t mean she will like it, just that she will refrain from balking. The alternative would be to have that private conversation in the midst of people, which would be contrary to his liking.
Work out signals, raising eyebrows, a “look,” a hand movement so your child knows when she is moving into the inappropriate zone. As mom, catch stuff in the early stages, rather than waiting for a blow-up. The brain gets into a loop, so by the time behavior gets into the hysterical screaming fit phase, often the child is unable to stop, nor, sometimes, can the adult.
Give childrfen alternate modes of behavior. Teach them how to recognize when they, themselves, are feeling upset, worried, angry, sad, resentful, and the like, so the child can self-correct rather than go into blow-up mode without understanding what’s going on inside them. If you, Mom, are out of touch with your own feelings, this is the perfect time for you to learn.
We are at a nexus in human consciousness upliftment. Despite some of the absolute insanity we see occuring in our lives, our families, politics, the world, we are more enlightened than that. We are the arbiters of our lives, with our connection to Source/the Presence within ourselves and everywhere. Take this opportunity to evolve yourself. It’s the greatest game in town.
What are you ideas? Techniques? How do you create peaceful conflict resolution in yourself? Your family? The world?
1.888.757.3223 or 1.888.75 PEACE
A good mother knows when to ask for support. This is before any crisis occurs. Everyone has to know when she (or he) has taken on more than she can handle. We all get signals within us, whether a feeling of dizziness, a stomachache, lack of sleep, overscheduled days, the Inner Guidance (different from the chattering internal dialog) or what-have-you.
Good moms want the best for their children. In the case of the Newtown, CT, tragedy, there were signals throughout this young man’s life that he needed more help than his mother could give.
Was it appropriate that the young man’s brother was “supposed to” be his brother’s caretaker? Only up to a point. All persons have to have the opportunity and possibility of living their lives, especially as a youngster. All siblings are meant to help one another, definitely. This is different from one sibling being responsible for another one, especially if the one needing help has a mental, physical, emotional or spiritual dysfunction. Dysfunctionality requires expert open-hearted competent help.
When individuals or a group are always silent, refusing to express their feelings, needs, opinions, desires or anything germane to who they are, this is generally a signal that something is askew. Often, this lack of response signals that energy is building up, as in a pressure cooker. Without a proper means of release, this energy can — and often may — explode.
Just as overly angry, aggressive, resentful, dominating, manipulative people have to learn how to better manage their emotions and deal with the underpinnings of what is truly going on within them, so, too, do people who hide everything inside without sharing anything anywhere with anyone.
It is tragic that this young man, likely with his mom’s best intentions, did not get the help he needed.
To have him living in a household rife with guns, plus bringing him to a shooting range, was incredibly foolish. Perhaps target shooting was his mom’s way to release her own stress. Perhaps she thought target shooting gave her some control over a tenuous challenging home situation. If these were some of her motivations, she was also acting out, rather than doing her internal work.
Both people needed help.
Neither got what they needed.
This is something for all of us to look at within ourselves, our families, our lives.
Be sure you get the support you need. Ask. Ask. Ask. Find people who are competent to help you. Be willing to give back. Create a barter. Find what you can give or share that will benefit the other person or someone else. Life is an exchange of energy.
Also, Rather than taking on everything possible, instead take on a moderate amount of “stuff” to do in your life. Do what you have to do as well and completely as you can.
The energy of the times is that of flux, transformation, evolution, where each and every one of us is called up to be responsible for our own lives, while also being supportive of one another’s growth.
Be wise in your choices.
Much love in the New Year!!!!
1 888 757 3223 1 888 75 PEACE
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