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Healing 3 Types of “Monster” Moms or “Poisonous” Parents

What can a mom or dad do to earn being called a “monster” or “poisonous”?

 

Let’s look at Seven Types of “Monster” Moms or “Poisonous” Parents

 

1.  The Bully Mom or Dad

This is the parent, who, even with the best of intentions, forces her or his child to do what s/he wants exactly in that moment.  “Eat your food now!!!! Everyone is waiting for you to finish!!! You are holding up everyone being ready to leave for the movies!!!”  Any of this said with a threatening tone to a child in a high chair or to a toddler, even if Mom or Dad is on her or his seeming last nerve, can absolutely be termed a bully parent.

 

Will the child comply?

 

At some point, yes, so the parent can justify her or his behavior, with the proverbial, “See?  It worked!  Now my daughter (or son) is behaving nicely.  I was right to do what I did.”

 

A better approach is to find out why the child is resisting or refusing to do what is requested.  Also, for Mom or Dad to examine their request, determining if the request is required to be completed at that very second, if there’s another way to speak to the child, if there’s something going on within the child that needs to be addressed.  None of us operate solely on the surface.  Babies, toddlers, children operate on many levels, including when they are preverbal.

 

2.   The “Ridiculing” Mom or Dad

 

“You are being ridiculous wearing that outfit.  You look like an idiot!” says a seemingly well-meaning parent, in her or his zeal to have their offspring look good, in their eyes, and what the parent takes to the eyes of their friends, workers, neighbors, society.

 

“Everyone is able to run at this age.  Why are you so slow?  Are you just stupid?” jeers another parent to her/his child, in the parent’s effort to get his/her child up to speed, in the parent’s world overview.

This type of behavior absolutely undermines the child’s sense of self, as well as invalidates the child’s progress.  Yes, we can all feel impatient with ourselves, our children, society, anything.  This is less than no justification to mock or ridicule a child.  This can also be seen as an aspect of the bullying parent.

 

If you find yourself doing any of this — and the best of parent can slip sometimes — immediately rectify it.  Apologize to your child for your words, attitude and behavior.  Let your child know you love him/her, and that you, too, are constantly learning.  Then find a more enlightened way to express what needs to be done.  If you need help, read www.TheMothersManual.com or attend the Enlightened Mom Teleseminar series and Enlightened Mom Coaching Program.

3.  The “Impossible-to-Please” Mom or Dad

I will take this right out of my own life.  When I was a child, I earned report-card grades in the 90s in all my subjects.  My mom would see this, and, though she said, “Good work,” she then added, “Why don’t you get higher?  Is this the best you can do?”  This was said in less than an approving, loving voice.

 

This may have stimulated another kind of child, encouraging her or him to work harder.  For me, however, I felt that my mom would never be satisfied with what I did.   I needed some acknowledgment and validation.  What happened was that as I got older, I felt my mom had no concept of what I did, what it tood for me to do any of what I did, and that she had no sense of how to actually encourage.

 

Of course, this stemmed from her upbringing where she was belittled and made to feel less-than from her mom.  She never “worked on” this, and continued this behavior with her children, thinking that she was doing a great job.

 

So you know, before my mom left the Earth, she and I had more than made up, forgiven ourselves and one another for our sometimes clashing behavior.  I love her and treasure her.  That little Scorpio Dragon was a great “adversary” who taught me how to deal with challenging people.

 

Any of us can fall into these three categories.  Any of us can still be feeling the effects of these and other categories of “Monster” Mom or “Poisonous Parent.”   If you would like more tips on how to heal from what you experienced from your Mom, and to avoid perpetuating this pattern, contact me at 1 888.757.3223 or 1 888.75 PEACE.  Also, www.TheMothersManual.com.

 

To have peace on the planet, we start at home, within ourselves and our families.

 

Many Bessings & Love,

 

MamaHeart

Audrye

 

Mom Freedoms, Considerations, Responsibilities

So much has been in the media about moms lately.  Is it okay to breastfeed in public without a coverup?  When is it good to discuss sex and sexuality with your child or children?  How many children is a good amount?

There is no completely “right” answer for everyone or for anyone all the time.

Let’s look at the queries above.  Is it okay to breastfeed in public without a coverup?  Actually, insofar as I know, it’s totally legal to do so.  Moms are within their/our rights to breastfeed publically.  Is this necessarily a good idea without a coverup in all circumstances?  I say, no, as we do have to take into account mainstream’s attitudes.  I certainly recomment having a light appropriate coverup.  This would be completely appropriate in every kind of circumstance I can currently imagine.

Yes, I know; some women feel a coverup is an infrigement on our freedom and rights.  We all, however, live in a society, and, whether we choose it or not, we do have to take into account others’ feelings.  A simple coverup is sufficient.  Yes, I know also that too many people seem to be more comfortable with guns than breastfeeding, and this is an issue we are in process of shifting.

Depending on where you are, I suggest carrying a coverup with you.  This way, everyone is comfortable, including Mom and Baby, the two most important persons here.

MamaHeart — me! — will discuss sexuality and appropriate amount of children in future posts.

These posts will be coming at minimum once a week.  I now have a new Web Woman, and I’m learning a new way to post these blogs.

What are your feelings?  Opinions?  Feedback?  Why?  What have you noticed?

Did you know that I am now doing Enlightened Mom Teleseminars?  If you are interested, certainly contact me.  You can always call 1 888 757 3223 or 1 888 75 PEACE.

I am also sending out Life Tips.  If you would like to receive these, also contact me.

Please let me know what topics in any area you would like to see here.

Thank you and have a blessed day.

Blessings,

Audrye

MamaSource

www.TheMothersManual.com

www.Audrye.org

 

 

Your Child Commits a Crime – What Now?

Your Child Commits a Crime – What Now?

     How would any mom feel if her child was the bullier, the rapist, the murderer, the thief, the racist?  An important aspect of mothering is to be in touch with one’s child from early on.  Be in tune with who your child is rather than who you would like her or him to be.  Teach by living example plus be words the qualities of authenticity, love, integrity, contribution, creativity, intelligence, discernment, and more. 

     This means Mom is on a lifelong learning curve.  This benefits both her and her family.  Anyone who feels learning stops at any point is the person who has stopped at that point.  Then what happens?  That person actually can begin to de-volve.  No-thing stays the same in this third-dimension world.  Everything is in constant flux, whether seemintly gently or chaotically.  Plus, this dimension abhors a vacuum.  Sooo, if an apparent vacuum exists, it’s instantaneous, as something will rush in to fill it.  We have to be responsible — with love, balance and presence — for what rushes into our momentary vacuums.

    This massive shooting in Colorado, and the subsequent behavior of the perpetrator has to be giving his mom nightmares.  What mom would refrain from asking: What did I do that I could have done differently?  What did I manage to refrain from seeing or knowing about my child?  What is going on in my child?  Without a mom being consumed with guilt — which furthers usually nothing — she does have to be responsible for herself and her knowledge of her child.  At the same time, once a child is an adult, which astrologically occurs at a person’s first Saturn Return about the age of 28 1/2 to 20, that person has to take up the mantle of his/her own personhood.

     This shooter was 24.  Many may call this an adult, as 21 is when a person gets all their rights and responsibilities.  Come, now!  How many people are truly self-responsible by 21, never mind 18?  The 20s are a time of exploration of what being an adult entails.  Most people, unfortunately, are untaught about how to be personally responsible for their emotions, thoughts, actions, behavior.

     This is NOT a blame of the mom or dad, by the way.  This is an exploration of what a mom may go through when her child commits a horrific, especially unprovoked, crime.

    We all have to be cognizant of one another’s mental states.  We have to develop our internal senses to such a degree of sensitivity that we can more easily sense when someone is “off.”  This is quite different from someone simply being other than who we are, as we all are unique.  When someone has an off-balance internal mechanism, they emit a different kind of energy.  Even psychics can be fooled, so this is an area on which our species has to focus.

     For example, some of the politicians and social movements in this country and the world are truly repressive, yet under the guise of either or religious, stable, or the way-things-are.  No, they are truly out to hurt people.  People, again, we all have to wake up!  Also, sometimes Mom is the one who is asleep, teaching unfortunate values or devalues to her child.  Sometimes it’s the child who teaches the mother.  We all have to be aware of what’s high level and what’s low.

      Know that this is a time of transformation.  Look at the clues in your own life to see where the Universe, your own Inner Compass, is urging you to grow, go, release, let go, move on, complete, open to new, have breakthroughts.  Also, yes, sometimes breakdowns are the doorway to breakthroughs.

     Blessings to ALL in this time of Change!!!!!

    On another note, my book, THE MOTHER’S MANUAL, A SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHILD REARING, is now digital on Kindle and Nook.  You can get both the entire big book or any of the 20 smaller books culled from the big mama book.

Love,

Audrye
MamaHeart

www.TheMothersManual.com
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Moms, Grandmothers, Children, Sensitivity & the TSA

    What has happened to sensitivity, common sense, decency in the way adults treat little kids, whether those adults are agents of the TSA or others?  How is it that some TSA agents can ignore the normal upset of a 4-year-young girl when she goes to hug her grandmother, and, instead, the TSA agents call this child a “suspect,” grab her, which has her yelling more, as the girl is frightened that she is about to be kidnapped?  Then, to make matters worse, the TSA defends the behavior of these very foolish agents — @http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/25/tsa-defends-pat-down-of-c_n_1454410.html?icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D155375.  
      As stated in the article, either the agents could have used a wand, put the girl through the scan again, or other techniques rather than look to isolate her in a room by herself (with strangers, something this child was taught to be wary of) or do a “modified” patdown, as the child had hugged her grandmother after the child had been scanned yet before the grandmother had been scanned.  Yes, we have to do something to “guard against terrorists,” and, yes, terrorists can show up in any guise, age, background, racial grouping, manner of dress, and the like.  Yet and all, why do some adults throw any modicum of sense they may possess out the window and behave like petty dictators when faced with a circumstance of power-over someone?  Perhaps the TSA has to both hire people with more intelligence and the ability to think quickly in situations, as well as better train the agents they have.  Certainly, there has to be a shift.
      How do we have some measure of security while flying yet also protect people’s individual rights and dignity?
      How do we each individually and we collectively as a nation live with integrity?  Do you live with integrity?  Does your partner?  Your child or your children?  Do you know what integrity is?  Integrity is being real, authentic, honest, present and complete in the moment, doing what you say you’ll do, and being accountable and responsible for your word, behavior, actions, emotions.  When you “mess up,” take responsibility and do it better the next time.
      Where are you with this?  This country?  Politicians?  The TSA?
      Share with me………..  Let’s all grow and evolve here.
      Many blessings to you, me and all of us ongoingly!!!
Love,
Mama Heart
Audrye
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/GoddessHeartNetwork   MIRACLE MANIFESTING MONDAYS  8 pm EDT
1 888 757 3223      1 888 75 PEACE
        


www.TheMothersManual.com
www.GoddessHeart.org
www.AudryeNow.tv
www.Achee.org
www.AudryeOmArt.com
www.twitter.com/Audrye22
www.facebook.com/Audrye
www.myspace.com/Audrye22
www.linkedin.com/in/Audrye
www.ecademy.com/user/AudryeArbe
www.ecademy.com/blog/AudryeArbe
www.ConsciousLivingSpace.com/profile/Audrye
Also, WeTheWorld, eWomanPower, more

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