I just read about one of the “reality show” moms pushing her six-year-young daughter to practice her dancing until this child cried in utter exhaustion and overwhelm.
Why do some moms do this?
This is poor mothering. Is it the mom who wants to succeed in whatever she is shoving her child to excel at? Usually, yes, absolutely.
Often the mom — or dad — who unceasingly and uncaringly rides her child beyond the child’s capacity, is someone who lacks love for herself. Often, this kind of mom is feeling deficient in some area. Yes, the mom may say she wants the best for her child, that no one supported her (the mom) so she (the mom) is being supportive of her child. This is a smokescreen for callousness.
It is vital that we moms encourage our children. It is imperative that we moms recognize the talents, abilities, tendencies of our children, and empower our children to realize the fruition of their gifts. As well, as good moms, we also help our children with their challenges.
To work a child — or anyone — till that child is exhausted and spent physically and emotionally is both physical and emotional abuse.
Whether on a reality show or in “real” life, this is obvious.
Yes, every person has her or his own breaking point, and mom has to be astute enough to avoid confusing true encouragement with abusive bullying.
When mom, or the “star” of a reality show, or anyone else is the bully, we have to call it what it is. Child abuse. Bullying. Disparaging a small one so the adult “looks good.” In actuality, the adult, the ostensible grown-up, actually looks pathetic, forceful, manipulative, dominating, cruel, unfeeling, and a host more.
This differs greatly from mom or a teacher being lax, careless, lazy, overly permissive.
Teaching a child internal discipline so the child innately looks to excel is what’s needed. This is better accomplished by encouragement, discussion of what can be done better, accountability, love. Seemingly torturing a child in the name of love or encouragement is a mega lie to good parenting.
This confusion is part of what leads to emotional chaos in a person’s life. Also, deep within herself, a mom knows when she has pushed her child too much. If the mom is unaware of this, this mom needs professional counseling.
All of us benefit from transformational, evolutionary, energy, psychological work. To avoid getting this is both foolish and dangerous.
Be a loving, encouraging, creative, enlightened mom, causing evolved kids. Require the best your child can give. Reward your child for every step she or he takes. Give them challenges, some of which are within their grasp, some of which are a true reach. Allow your child to know success and “failure,” meaning not quite making the mark. We all have to know how to deal with this. This way the child learns that she or he can “fold,” and then pick her (or him) self up and go again.
These are vital life lessons. Everyone benefits from learning them. It is ongoing.
Have a blessed New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Transformation Catalyst, Author, Clairvoyant Consultant, Spiritual Therapist, Healer, Health & Wellness Coach, Enagic Kangen (R) Water Distributor, BlogTalkShow Host, Artist, and, definitely, Mom and Grammie
1 888 757 3223 1 888 75 PEACE
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