Posts Tagged ‘enlightened discipline’
Everyone has her/his culture, upbringing, “genetic karmic” conditioning. Some of these ideas may be fabulous, while others are repressive, confining, stultifying.
Because Source/the Presence was with me as I/we brought forth THE MOTHER’S MANUAL, A SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHILD REARING AND MOTHERHOOD, (www.TheMothersManual.com ), I’m quoting directly from the book on Discipline.
“Avoid hitting your child. Hitting and loving are different. The
phrase ‘this hurts me more than it hurts you’ from a parent’s mouth
when the parent is administering a spanking, beating or whooping
rings false to every child who has ever heard it. Hitting teaches that
might makes right. Smacking teaches bullying. Saying ‘because I
say so, that’s why,/ though a common-enough phrase that can slip
past many mothers’ mouths, is also an ineffective tool for teaching
and discipline. If you yourself do not know why you are saying it
or having your child do it, learn, so you can explain it to your child
in a sensible understandable manner. Children are actually smart
and often understand way more than adults give the child credit for.
“Reserve commands for emergencies.
“When you develop trust with your child, this little person, especially
when young, often desires to do what you say. Children like
to please. They like to fit into a loving situation. This adaptability
is built into them, as surely as the innate ability to crawl, walk and
evolve. Definitely, there are times when your child must do as you say
in that exact moment without the child understanding why. It may
be a matter of saving her life. You can use special language that you
set up in advance with your child so she knows when and if these
times occur. Be sure to respect this and use it sparingly and judiciously.
“These are the times when commands can be used wisely.
“If you were brought up with corporeal punishment, being hit,
and you think hitting is the only way or the most effective way to
discipline or teach respect to your child, please think again. Smacking,
hitting and/or beating are a very limited repertoire of choices,
often rendering the mother ineffective in instilling positive methods
of discipline in her child. Citing alleged Biblical ‘spare the rod and
spoil the child’ is a way to justify and rationalize violence to one’s
“Look into alternatives.
“1. Learn when you are reaching your
limit of patience.
“2. Have several people as alternate child caregivers
for just such times.
“3. Have quiet activities your child can enjoy
and benefit from.
“4. Find classes for wee ones, so you have pauses in
“5. Take classes yourself in positive methods of peaceful
“6. Develop patience, ingenuity, clarity, coping skills, creativity
” 7. Meditate.
” 8. Develop your own internal discipline
with love, and your child will also energetically emulate you.”
There is also the Reward method. Set up a chart with chores and the like, and when the child performs them, give the child a star. When the child refuses to do his agreed-upon responsibilities, the child can get a different mark. Privileges can be awarded or taken away based on this chart.
Never ever humiliate your child, whether alone or in the midst of people. Always respect yourself and your child as Beings of Light. Take your child away from a group, and speak to her about inappropriate behavior. When tihis manner of dealing with your child is extablished early on, your child will come to expect it. This doesn’t mean she will like it, just that she will refrain from balking. The alternative would be to have that private conversation in the midst of people, which would be contrary to his liking.
Work out signals, raising eyebrows, a “look,” a hand movement so your child knows when she is moving into the inappropriate zone. As mom, catch stuff in the early stages, rather than waiting for a blow-up. The brain gets into a loop, so by the time behavior gets into the hysterical screaming fit phase, often the child is unable to stop, nor, sometimes, can the adult.
Give childrfen alternate modes of behavior. Teach them how to recognize when they, themselves, are feeling upset, worried, angry, sad, resentful, and the like, so the child can self-correct rather than go into blow-up mode without understanding what’s going on inside them. If you, Mom, are out of touch with your own feelings, this is the perfect time for you to learn.
We are at a nexus in human consciousness upliftment. Despite some of the absolute insanity we see occuring in our lives, our families, politics, the world, we are more enlightened than that. We are the arbiters of our lives, with our connection to Source/the Presence within ourselves and everywhere. Take this opportunity to evolve yourself. It’s the greatest game in town.
What are you ideas? Techniques? How do you create peaceful conflict resolution in yourself? Your family? The world?
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