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Posts Tagged ‘peaceful discipline’

Balanced Discipline 2 – 8 Tips from THE MOTHER’S MANUAL

    Everyone has her/his culture, upbringing, “genetic karmic” conditioning.  Some of these ideas may be fabulous, while others are repressive, confining, stultifying.

Because Source/the Presence was with me as I/we brought forth THE MOTHER’S MANUAL, A SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHILD REARING AND MOTHERHOOD, (www.TheMothersManual.com ), I’m quoting directly from the book on Discipline.

    “Avoid hitting your child. Hitting and loving are different. The

phrase ‘this hurts me more than it hurts you’ from a parent’s mouth

when the parent is administering a spanking, beating or whooping

rings false to every child who has ever heard it. Hitting teaches that

might makes right. Smacking teaches bullying. Saying ‘because I

say so, that’s why,/ though a common-enough phrase that can slip

past many mothers’ mouths, is also an ineffective tool for teaching

and discipline. If you yourself do not know why you are saying it

or having your child do it, learn, so you can explain it to your child

in a sensible understandable manner. Children are actually smart

and often understand way more than adults give the child credit for.

 

“Reserve commands for emergencies.

 

“When you develop trust with your child, this little person, especially

when young, often desires to do what you say. Children like

to please. They like to fit into a loving situation. This adaptability

is built into them, as surely as the innate ability to crawl, walk and

evolve. Definitely, there are times when your child must do as you say

in that exact moment without the child understanding why. It may

be a matter of saving her life. You can use special language that you

set up in advance with your child so she knows when and if these

times occur. Be sure to respect this and use it sparingly and judiciously.

 

“These are the times when commands can be used wisely.

 

“If you were brought up with corporeal punishment, being hit,

and you think hitting is the only way or the most effective way to

discipline or teach respect to your child, please think again. Smacking,

hitting and/or beating are a very limited repertoire of choices,

often rendering the mother ineffective in instilling positive methods

of discipline in her child. Citing alleged Biblical ‘spare the rod and

spoil the child’ is a way to justify and rationalize violence to one’s

child.

 

“Look into alternatives.

 

“1. Learn when you are reaching your

limit of patience.

 

“2.  Have several people as alternate child caregivers

for just such times.

 

“3.  Have quiet activities your child can enjoy

and benefit from.

 

“4.  Find classes for wee ones, so you have pauses in

mothering.

 

“5.  Take classes yourself in positive methods of peaceful

discipline.

 

“6. Develop patience, ingenuity, clarity, coping skills, creativity

within yourself.

 

” 7. Meditate.

 

” 8.  Develop your own internal discipline

with love, and your child will also energetically emulate you.”

 

There is also the Reward method.  Set up a chart with chores and the like, and when the child performs them, give the child a star.  When the child refuses to do his agreed-upon responsibilities, the child can get a different mark.  Privileges can be awarded or taken away based on this chart.

 

Never ever humiliate your child, whether alone or in the midst of people.  Always respect yourself and your child as Beings of Light.  Take your child away from a group, and speak to her about inappropriate behavior.  When tihis manner of dealing with your child is extablished early on, your child will come to expect it.  This doesn’t mean she will like it, just that she will refrain from balking.  The alternative would be to have that private conversation in the midst of people, which would be contrary to his liking.

Work out signals, raising eyebrows, a “look,” a hand movement so your child knows when she is moving into the inappropriate zone.  As mom, catch stuff in the early stages, rather than waiting for a blow-up.  The brain gets into a loop, so by the time behavior gets into the hysterical screaming fit phase, often the child is unable to stop, nor, sometimes, can the adult.

Give childrfen alternate modes of behavior.  Teach them how  to recognize when they, themselves, are feeling upset, worried, angry, sad, resentful, and the like, so the child can self-correct rather than go into blow-up mode without understanding what’s going on inside them.  If you, Mom, are out of touch with your own feelings, this is the perfect time for you to learn.

We are at a nexus in human consciousness upliftment.  Despite some of the absolute insanity we see occuring in our lives, our families, politics, the world, we are more enlightened than that.  We are the arbiters of our lives, with our connection to Source/the Presence within ourselves and everywhere.  Take this opportunity to evolve yourself.  It’s the greatest game in town.

What are you ideas?  Techniques?  How do you create peaceful conflict resolution in yourself?  Your family?  The world?

 

Be blessed!!!!

 

Love,

MamaHeart

Audrye

www.TheMothersManual.com

www.ReleaseFamilyKarma.Eventbrite.com

1.888.757.3223 or 1.888.75 PEACE

Balanced Discipline 1 – Is There Such a Thing?

What’s the most effective and peaceful method to discipline children?  There seem to be parents who still hold with the “spoil the rod, spoil the child” philosophy, happily hitting, beating and smacking their child, justifying this behavior by quoting the Bible.  On the other opposite end, there are parents who refrain from having any level of accountability or responsibility requirement for their children, nor do some of these parents hold their children to any decent standards of behavior.

Both of these polarities can have dire consequences for both the children and parents, as well as the world.  We all have to be accountable for our thoughts, language, behavior, and the consequences of our actions or inactions.  Nobody gets a free ride, as we are all here to evolve.

Clearly, every child is different, requiring unique approaches.  Also, every child needs parental attention, love, care, and understanding.  When parents refuse to deal with their kids, hoping that somehow, magically, their kids will “do the right thing,” and that no one should ever tell them (the parents) anything negative about their children, these very parents are living in a fantasy.

Moms, Dads, ask people who see your kids in settings where you are absent — as in school, other people’s homes, the playground, sports, after-school programs — how your children behave, and how these other people perceive your children.  Regularly, speak with your child about how life is going for them.  Refuse to accept a grunt as an answer.

Hitting, beating, smacking, any corporeal punishment teaches that might makes right, that physical violence is acceptable under certain circumstances, that bullying has a place.  Being hit is demeaning.  Yes, some kids may stop their inappropriate behavior, yet what has that child learned?  Has that child learned why their behavior had been objectionable?  Has the child learned how to self regulate?  Does the child maintain self respect?

Being hit harms a child’s sense of self, has the child think less of her or him self.  When a parent, supposedly a person who loves a child, then physically hurts that child, the child can get an internally twisted idea of live, even if the child has the intellectual and emotional capacity to distinguish punishment from loving actions.

Start early, when your child is a toddler.  TALK to your child.  Explain why certain behavior is acceptable, while other actions are unacceptable.  Have the child think about this.  Perhaps, the child can draw a picture, act out a scenario, or see something on a good video or child TV show that will demonstrate the lesson you are in the midst of teaching.  Time out is also good.  Taking away or awarding privileges are effective techniques.

As a parent, be sure what you require of your child is age appropriate.  A foolish parent will expect a child in a high chair to eat with the manners of a cultured adult.  This child will sometimes play with her or his food.  This is okay.  Yes, I know, some parents require strict obedience and adherence to adult etiquette, even, for example, the parent, speaking in a very stern harsh tone to the child, then turning the child and high chair to the wall, rather than facing and participating with the family.    This kind of behavior, for example, needs to be avoided, as the child can get nervous about ever pleasing this parent.

Balanced Discipline 2 – Is There Such a Thing? will give 7 ideas you can implement in your home with children of various ages.

What are your thoughts?  What are your experiences?

May you have a blessed day with yourself, your children, your mate, your world!!!!

Love,

MamaHeart

Audrye

www.TheMothersManual.com

Audrye@TheMothersManual.com

1.888.757.3223 or 1.888.75 PEACE

 

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